Hostage

Hostage

-Laurie Benson©2019

KnewMeJournaling

Of course! It takes 18 months

for an elephant to grow

inside its mother.

Strength.

Power.

Wisdom.

Loyalty.

Traits of this spirit animal

for so many.

One tiny brass one hangs

from my rearview mirror-

for hindsight,

I guess.

And this October day,

this last October day,

I remember that

in this month there

was one day full of

raking leaves, cutting

pumpkins from the vine, and

placing dried sunflower heads

out for birdseed.

And you came with news.

18 months worth of news.

I held your little son, who

had carried loads of pumpkins

with me and Pop Pop, this

day, while you thanked us

for being who we are, 

Perfectly-Imperfect-Parents.

You, the 

Brave 

one, brought

healing today with your 

Strength.

And shared it with the

Loyal 

one and the

Powerful

ones. Two other sons.

The

Wise

one feels it all, all this

fall, even one thousand miles

away. Sorting through his months

while I tell him that, 

I hold October hostage.

Finger pointing at this month

for all the trauma, all the

drama, all the falling.

Elephants are also sensitive,

and our family carries plenty

of that trait, fondly nicknaming

ourselves H.S.P.'s, to be sure

to remember, we're

"highly sensitive people."

But the 

Reliability

and the

Determination

character traits of the elephant 

belong to Little Miss, the sister.

Determined at one time to

save all her brothers,

from all the others.

Now, using those traits

to let go.

So, 18 months, 18 years or

18 seconds to tell me about it,

that's all it takes for me to look,

and know,

and feel that,

I'm not going to hold

fall hostage any more.

There is too much to adore

about you all,

and so much to ignore

about what isn't real.

-photo credit Jaime Hilton-Fotsch